Someone actually paid for this study?

More advanced cancer seen in uninsured Americans

I'd like to get paid for a study....my study would be to prove people who drive cars are more likely to be in a car accident than people who don't drive cars.

Or how about this one...to prove people who ingest poison are more likely to die than a person who does not ingest poison.

Or this one....to prove people with more money are likely to own more things than people with less money.

I could come up with thousands.....where do I sign up to get my expenses paid for doing this study....I have LOTS of expenses.